For some reason, the Internet celebrated the FCC net neutrality classification decision with hours of chatter about a pack of escaped llamas. With all this talk about llamas, my mind turned to Vs., my favorite Pearl Jam album, because of its memorable album cover. Then there was a huge uproar on social media about the color of some random ugly dress, and my head began to hurt because of the light and my eyes and all the terrible arguments that confuse perception and reality and so on and so forth. After all this hubbub, I then conducted some additional research and found out that the animal on the cover of Vs. is not a llama at all, like I had assumed after all these years, but is in fact a sheep.
My mind has been broken. Llamas are sheep and gold is black. It is nearly impossible to function.
So we’re going to take things easy today, because it’s just too difficult to write a response to this terrible article about how “live music kinda sucks” (and please don’t click on the link for now, but just know it exists) when the mind is broken. We will instead delay our rebuttal for another time, in part because we will also the piece as a pivot to include a discussion concerning recent commentary on the purposes of live albums. But that’s for the future.
Dammit, I just remembered time doesn’t exist. Oh well.